I had to come to terms with the fact that the things I did five years ago that bothered me still do and yet I still do them. I have not changed what I know is defective in me. I find that my self-talk is what fuels this repetitive cycle. Are the deep seeded negative things I think about in myself create a rinse and repeat over and over again. I need to look underneath the root cause of that core belief that I have about myself. The real question is it true or was a lie fed to me that I chose to adopt and make a part of me.
So we all have areas of insecurity. If you are a guy, that insecurity can be defined by your relationship with your father. Now your dad can be the greatest guy in the world and love you to death and still have ignored you because culturally that is what father’s of that era typically did. They worked all day and then came home for dinner and then grabbed a newspaper, watched TV or maybe even went outside to play catch with you. But kids need time that is engaging. Time where Dad asks what happened at school today. A dad who when he hears of conflict does not automatically assume that you caused the situation. To have a dad that has your back no matter what.
We are a product of that cycle with our dads. We can say yep, my dad did a couple of those things and a list of positive things and maybe a list of much more negative things. We recognize that abuse by our father’s is going to create dysfunction in our life. But we also need to recognize the certain levels of emotional neglect can also leave a scar that you still battle with most of your life.
This post is about unpacking that thing with your dad that did not end well and resolve that with him and more importantly with yourself. Free yourself from the grips of control it has in your life and how it impacts your current relationships today. Even if you feel your dad made mistakes, know he is human and needs our love and respect. So son’s turn your hearts to your father, even if you are hanging on to some things. Then look forward in Hope. Hope is a profound need and it is so important that someone pretty significant died so you can have it. Look backward in and effort to move forward. If you cannot look forward yet, then look up, help is there for those who seek.